Hate

What is "hate"? Is it a word? Is it an action? Is it something that is taught? Or is it something that is already wired into our brains when we are born?

There is a saying "actions speak louder then words". Which is why I think there is a very blurry line between "hate" being just a word and it being an action.

 These days, people throw the word "hate" around as if it is just a statement for "disliking" something. "I hate my hair." or "I hate Chinese food."

"Hate" really is a profound word. It holds so much negative emotion. I believe "hate" is taught. Babies do not know how to "hate" someone. People are taught "hate", whether it's from peers or family members. It seems so many people are close minded these days that they teach others to be the same way.

People "hate" others solely based on their skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or religion. As much as I would like to say we have progressed over time when you take a step back, you see we really have not. We still continue to "hate". Open mindedness is what will let us progress. It is what will allow us to finally succeed as a society. What gives us the right to judge someone so harshly and tell them they cannot have the same rights due to the list above? How can we be so cruel?

We are different, every single one of us. No two people will ever be exactly the same. How would the people judging feel if someone said "You can't marry that person because you have blonde hair?". They would be upset. They would be mad.

In 2013 we still continue to listen to a "book" that was wrote so long ago. Yet we pull what we want out of it. We never stop to think that things are so different now then they were. We don't stop to think that this "book" is supposed to teach love, and non judgement of others. People say "love thy neighbor" and in the next breathe are preaching to someone about how if they don't "change" how the feel about their same sex partner that they will "burn in hell". How is this thinking even logical?

How can we even thrive as a society with this kind of behavior? People go as far as murdering people because they didn't agree with their beliefs. They bully and continue to put people down for not believing the same way. They push people so far over the edge that they kill themselves or self medicate, or self-harm to relieve the built up pain.

Who are we to cause someone so much pain that ending their life or cutting themselves is easier to deal with?  Some people don't even allow this to effect them. They continue to torment others. Now how can someone do that? Hurt someone so much they do these things, and then continue to feel okay with our selves?

Love needs to be taught. Not hate. People need to learn to accept things. Who cares if a man loves another man or a woman loves another woman? How is their love affecting you? How is someone's skin color affecting you? How is a woman working the same job as a man bothersome? How is someone getting help from the government a lesser being then someone who doesn't need the help? That is why it's there isn't it? To help those who need it? How can we continue to discriminate? These people are not affecting your life. They are NOT bullying anyone. They are all minding their own business. So how are they not allowed the same rights as everyone else? How can all these people not be as equal as you?

We are all human. We are living on this planet. TOGETHER.The "hate" is what is pulling us apart.All it's doing is pulling us farther and farther apart. I think the "lesser" beings are those who purposely hurt others for not being the same as them.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

It seems as Christmas approaches us each year, people are decorating, shopping, baking, or just plain getting ready a little earlier then the year before. This year we do already have our Christmas tree and stockings up. I guess I should decorate a little more. It is amazing how I feel I am behind BEFORE Thanksgiving.

I know Christmas this year will not be the easy going one we celebrated last year. A person loved so much by us, is no longer with us. I wish she still was. I still find myself from time to time, wanting to call her up and tell her about things going on with Nathan and I. I am thankful for the amount of time and the relationship I had with her.

Nathan has already bought and given me one of my Christmas presents. A Lenovo Laptop. I love this beast of a computer. It is big, and fast, and has an amazing display. I am so excited I can barley contain my own excitement.

I miss Brodey. I hate that he is gone from me so much. I believe my connection to him is different and stronger then the connection his father has with him. I wish he would stop making everything about money and realize changing the parenting plan would be a good thing for his son. If I never got a dime of child support from him I would not care. I only want what is best for my child and going to good schools, living in a stable home, and not having to deal with transitions is for the best. But despite my good intentions, his father has it out for me.

That is why I am glad Brodey has Nathan. He takes really good care of him. Always buying him things when he needs it. My CS is either; A. always late or B. it’s a low enough amount that does not cover all of Brodey’s needs. But Nathan will always be here to take care of him. I love they relationship they had. Brodey has loved him since the very first time he met him and that makes my heart swell with pride.

Snow...oh boy

I wish I was on a beach in Maui right now. Yes, that sounds amazing.

8 more months and I will marry my best friend. I couldn't be more happier with.him. He treats me not like a princess, but a queen. We get each other. And I think that is why we rarely fight. It has been one year and we are still going strong. I have never met a more amazing guy than my Nathan. Not only does he take care of me, he takes amazing care of Brodey, who has been attached to him since the first time they met.

Nathan is the most hard working, nicest, funniest, mature, attractive man I have ever met. I really can picture him by my side for the rest of my life. I have never, in my whole existance, loved a man as much as I do, him. He is my world, my life, my soulmate. (next to Brodey of course). He works over 100 hours every two weeks, with a two day break out of those 14 days. He hardly complains, but when he does I listen because he has every right to. He doesn't try to act like a bad ass, cocky, normal 22 year old. And that is what makes him so great. I'm so ecstatic to become Mrs.Wagstaff. There is no guy out there that even comes close. They may think they are "tough shit", mature, and "bad ass", but they are furthest from it.

When you know, you know. And I know he is my one forever.

Dear Diary...Blah, blah, blah

It is cold out today. Something I don't think I will ever get used to this winter. Especially after the extremely hot, dry summer we had. I have enjoyed the prolonged cold weather, but maybe it is a bad thing. I fear of what mother nature has in store for us in the future. Global warming perhaps? I guess that is just another topic, for another day.

My wrist hurts. As it seems to be doing every time the barometric pressure has dropped. I'm not sure if I have arthritis, carpel tunnel, or tendonitis. Just something else I will need to look into.

My heart aches for Jessica Ridgeway's family. At least they caught the perpetrator. A 17 year old boy. What is wrong with this world anymore? And why does it seem Colorado has the most messed up things? April 1999-Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold open fire in Columbine High School. July 2012-James Holmes walks into an Aurora theater for the midnight premier of The Dark Knight Rises and opens fire. October 2012-Austin Sig abducts, and murders 10 year old Jessica Ridgeway. 

This is why psychology is so fascinating to me. Because I always ask "why?". What possesses someone to want or need to kill others? Criminal psychology is my main focus.

I just don't get why there has to be so much bad in the world. I feel so heavyhearted when I think of all the evil there is out there. The more bad stuff happens, the more pessimistic I become. It is so hard to be Optimistic when there is so much negative in the world....