It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

It seems as Christmas approaches us each year, people are decorating, shopping, baking, or just plain getting ready a little earlier then the year before. This year we do already have our Christmas tree and stockings up. I guess I should decorate a little more. It is amazing how I feel I am behind BEFORE Thanksgiving.

I know Christmas this year will not be the easy going one we celebrated last year. A person loved so much by us, is no longer with us. I wish she still was. I still find myself from time to time, wanting to call her up and tell her about things going on with Nathan and I. I am thankful for the amount of time and the relationship I had with her.

Nathan has already bought and given me one of my Christmas presents. A Lenovo Laptop. I love this beast of a computer. It is big, and fast, and has an amazing display. I am so excited I can barley contain my own excitement.

I miss Brodey. I hate that he is gone from me so much. I believe my connection to him is different and stronger then the connection his father has with him. I wish he would stop making everything about money and realize changing the parenting plan would be a good thing for his son. If I never got a dime of child support from him I would not care. I only want what is best for my child and going to good schools, living in a stable home, and not having to deal with transitions is for the best. But despite my good intentions, his father has it out for me.

That is why I am glad Brodey has Nathan. He takes really good care of him. Always buying him things when he needs it. My CS is either; A. always late or B. it’s a low enough amount that does not cover all of Brodey’s needs. But Nathan will always be here to take care of him. I love they relationship they had. Brodey has loved him since the very first time he met him and that makes my heart swell with pride.

Snow...oh boy

I wish I was on a beach in Maui right now. Yes, that sounds amazing.

8 more months and I will marry my best friend. I couldn't be more happier with.him. He treats me not like a princess, but a queen. We get each other. And I think that is why we rarely fight. It has been one year and we are still going strong. I have never met a more amazing guy than my Nathan. Not only does he take care of me, he takes amazing care of Brodey, who has been attached to him since the first time they met.

Nathan is the most hard working, nicest, funniest, mature, attractive man I have ever met. I really can picture him by my side for the rest of my life. I have never, in my whole existance, loved a man as much as I do, him. He is my world, my life, my soulmate. (next to Brodey of course). He works over 100 hours every two weeks, with a two day break out of those 14 days. He hardly complains, but when he does I listen because he has every right to. He doesn't try to act like a bad ass, cocky, normal 22 year old. And that is what makes him so great. I'm so ecstatic to become Mrs.Wagstaff. There is no guy out there that even comes close. They may think they are "tough shit", mature, and "bad ass", but they are furthest from it.

When you know, you know. And I know he is my one forever.

Dear Diary...Blah, blah, blah

It is cold out today. Something I don't think I will ever get used to this winter. Especially after the extremely hot, dry summer we had. I have enjoyed the prolonged cold weather, but maybe it is a bad thing. I fear of what mother nature has in store for us in the future. Global warming perhaps? I guess that is just another topic, for another day.

My wrist hurts. As it seems to be doing every time the barometric pressure has dropped. I'm not sure if I have arthritis, carpel tunnel, or tendonitis. Just something else I will need to look into.

My heart aches for Jessica Ridgeway's family. At least they caught the perpetrator. A 17 year old boy. What is wrong with this world anymore? And why does it seem Colorado has the most messed up things? April 1999-Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold open fire in Columbine High School. July 2012-James Holmes walks into an Aurora theater for the midnight premier of The Dark Knight Rises and opens fire. October 2012-Austin Sig abducts, and murders 10 year old Jessica Ridgeway. 

This is why psychology is so fascinating to me. Because I always ask "why?". What possesses someone to want or need to kill others? Criminal psychology is my main focus.

I just don't get why there has to be so much bad in the world. I feel so heavyhearted when I think of all the evil there is out there. The more bad stuff happens, the more pessimistic I become. It is so hard to be Optimistic when there is so much negative in the world....